Wait...what?

Well, some of you may have heard...me and Jase kind of started communicating with each other. Long story short, he texts me saying happy valentines day and we started talking and we were actually getting along! But...now my happiness about it is kind of fading. It's probably because we don't talk in person. It's just not the same as it use to be. He was probably the most important person in my life and now I feel like I'll never have that ever again... because I feel like....well, I'm not really sure how to describe how I feel. I guess....I could say that I'm not really thrilled. I could say that I was expecting more than this. I could say that I wish that we were best friends like we used to be. I guess I could say I really hate myself because this is all my fault! And I could tell myself to stop sobbing and save my tears because I can never have this again! I mean... HE PROBABLY DOESN'T EVEN LIKE ME ANYMORE! WHAT AM I DOING? At first I thought he did. But he probably likes Jessi Blackburn like Jake said. And I'm just going to keep hurting myself like this. You know, he probably thinks I'm the worst possible person on the face of the earth right now. And it's my own fault. Not his. I'm putting myself through this pain because I keep believing that something can happen with us and that we can continue twhere we left off. But we can't. We can't...we can't.....ugh...we can't. It's all too good to be true. So what do I do now?

I HATE FEBRUARY!!!

I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT!
Reasons why, It's stupid, I hate everything that has to do with love, hearts, desperate girls, or obnoxious boys, I would like it if me and Jase were still together, My sister gets all ushy gushy with her boyfriend.

WORST MONTH EVER!

I can name like 10 reasons why this month sucks!
1: It's the month of Valentines Day
2:I had to spill a secret about one of my friends to my other friends because it was such a sad secret, that I walked up to my friends sobbing. Now my other friend is mad at me!
3: There's a girl making situation #2 even worse because she's mixing up the story and getting my friend EVEN MORE MAD AT ME!
4:Jase knows that I like him and now it's just so akward standing within 10 feet of him.
5:There's nothing I can do about Jase. I'm pretty sure he hates me.
6:I've been having really weird mood swings.
7:I've been having memory flashes that I don't even remember happening but they seem famlliar. For some reason they're not even in my point of view. Its not De Ja Vu!
8:The stress is killing me!
9:One of my best friends thinks I hate her!
10:I just can't take anymore of this drama!

I just hate February! I've cried twice in 4 days! This is crazy!

He Knows

Jake"accidentally" spilled the beans on Thursday. Jase knows I like him. And he's probably thinking that I'm stupid, naive, and that I never give up. But the weird thing is, I actually agree with him. I'm all of those 4 things. I fell really hard. I feel SO STUPID! But I guess this means he's not the one. The one wouldn't have ended it so quickly. Or the one would have ended it and then fixed it in a really amazing romantic way. And anyway Jase has quite a few negative things about him: 1. He is majorly paranoid. 2. He has horrible mood swings. 3. He blames people falsely because of what other people did. 4. His eyes can trap him in your heart forever (haha....wait that's kind of a positive thing.) Ok maybe there's not that many bad things about him. But there's plenty of reasons why he would dump me: 1. I'm way too curious about stuff. 2. He probably still like Hailey or Kenzee. 3.I'm and idiot and I was so stupid and naive and...UGH I'M AN IDIOT! But hey. If someone else can give me that amazing, spectacular, beautiful feeling, Than GREAT! Where do I sign up? Except wait, there's one problem. There's NO ONE like him. But, have a happy Valentines Day. (Ugh what do I do what do I do what do I do?)